Tuesday, March 10, 2009

 

TMI and the Marriage Pro

3.09.2009

TMI Tuesday #177



1. Are you pro-marriage? Why or why not?
Yeah, for me, I'm pro marriage. I would hate to be alone, and have to ponder growing old that way, and not have somebody to be my companion. And sometimes you just wanna "get some" without all the work...(!) But seriously, I realize some people can get all that stuff without getting married, and can make that work for them. But this is how I was brought up and its what I want, and it works for me.

2. Have you ever invented or thought you invented a sexual position?
She gets on all fours and surfs internet porn while I enter from behind. Its called "E-dog style"... (Yes, that was a joke)

3. Do you like to be tied up? Always or sometimes?
Only rarely for me, but I know somebody who enjoys it often...

4. Do you consider online cybering adultery?
This question leaves way too much room for a wide range of interpretation. It could be something like adultery - in terms of the stress and damage it can do, or it can just as easily be nowhere near it. Depends on the couple and how honest they are with each other, how tolerant, what their expectations are.

Any consensual, openly acknowledged stuff like this is not anything like adultery - no issue. But somebody in a committed relationship that includes monogamic sex as part of the bond, who is spending their emotional and orgasmic bullets with somebody other than the person who trusts them, and doing it secretly, I think its a sexual breech of trust that might feel like adultery - at least it might end up hurting that person who feels betrayed, and be nearly as destructive. Also, if someone is doing it out of spite or to hurt the person, even under the assumption that they won't get caught, its a pretty bad thing. Whether or not the person gets caught, they are undermining the basis of trust. So it depends on what the assumed relationship is between those people. But no, its not adultery.

5. Do you prefer masturbation over real sex?
Do people answer yes to this question?? Okay, I can see how, if real sex was too hard to get, and sex drive was strong, it could be a yes situation. But if you can develop a relationship so that sex is a part of the bond you have with your partner, it will be a much more fulfilling experience, in a lot of ways.. At least that is how its worked out for me. I hardly masturbate at all anymore, cuz I love the urge my partner produces in me, and how it builds up if not released, and is then released with that much more force. Anticipation is part of the fun.


6. Do you want sex more times a day than your partner?
Yes. Approximately 0.4 more times per day than my partner, who on average wants it about 0.6 times per day.

7. Do you get offended when you partner openly flirts with others or are you okay with it?
No. There is pretty much a line I assume will happen and don't mind, and she doesn't cross it, so its no problem here. She just is kinda flirty. Its part of her personality, and she wouldn't be "her" without it. But more important, it is a way she indulges in and expresses feeling good about herself. If you have ever been involved with somebody who has a natural tendency to devalue themselves, in a destructive way, and tried to help them, but found it so hard to do, and yearned for the times when your partner felt more positive about themself, and actually likes themself, you'll both be happier when they do.

8. Do you think you're flirty by nature?
I spend too much time in a professional job, with very proper values regarding sexual harassment, values backed by rules which are mandated by law - where sexual harassment is not only not tolerated, but aggressively prosecuted. I hate harassment of any kind, and never did it, but in typical American fashion, when something is to be discontinued, it is crushed with massive force and Draconian enforcement - affecting the innocent at least as much as the guilty. Sometimes its dangerous work, and you want to hug somebody who did something difficult to help the team - but you can't. Even if the huggee is okay with it, somebody else might not be. People won't even tell a joke to each other, because there is always the possibility somebody nearby might be offended. So I spend a lot of time in a place where you cannot flirt - its pretty much been beaten out of me. But I flirt with my wife, and it really pays off sometimes!

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